Get to know Sam: Major milestones in 32 years of living

• March 23, 1977 - Born days before Sarah, all is right with the world.
  
• March 23, 1977, ten minutes later - Twin sister, Beth, is born.
• August 1977 - Elvis dies. No one in the Kirby family sheds a tear, save Leighton. Huge hound dog fan.
  
• March 1978-1985 - Kirby kids destroy most of Martinsville, VA.
  
• December 25, 1985 - Sam and Beth get gigantic foam sheriff hats. Clean up city.
  
• Entire Childhood - Bill Kirby ropes off front yard in hopes of saving lawn from kids/sports. Fails miserably.
  
• July 1987 - Billy convinces Sam to eat Rocky Mountain Oysters, Sam still holds a grudge.
  
• August 1996 - Sam leaves Martinsville for greener pastures in Elon, NC.
  
• May 2000 - graduates from Elon University
  
• May 2000 - borrows 400 dollars from father to move to Columbia SC
  
• May 2000, six hours later- realizes mistake of moving to Columbia, plots escape via Europe.
  
• Sept 2001 - Escapes Columbia, SC via Europe; convinces Whit to travel with him. Spends the next six months "slumming it."
  
• March 2002 - Arrives in Martinsville, unsure of next move.
  
• Oct 2003 - Becomes a shepherd in Australia, begins lifetime hatred of sheep.
  
• Aug 2004 - Quits herding sheep to attend Leighton's wedding. Good decision.
  
• Aug 2004 - Moves to Washington DC to make 11 dollars an hour. Poor decision.
  
• Jan 2006 – Meets Sarah Talbot. Allows her to spill drink on him. And the rest, as they say, is history…